Confidence!

Last week I finished reading Pride and Prejudice for the first time ever! Yes, ever! I cannot believe it took me this long to read it. On the contrary, it is probably better that I did wait, otherwise, I would not have appreciated it as much as I did. You know, like every book you were supposed to read in high school, but they were all "too boring" back then, but now they are great! Funny how that works. There is so much to quote on this one, but I will start today with this...

I love this! It is so strong and full of confidence. Have you ever had an experience where you expressed your thoughts and were laughed at?! (Don't lie). It makes you second guess your thoughts or opinions, doesn't it? Well, not after reading Pride and Prejudice! I admire this so much. May all women (and men, too!) have the confidence of Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Of course, as we get older, we naturally become more confident in our opinion (hence, the idea that older generations are "set in their ways"), but imagine this unwavering confidence at a young age? Since I am already past "young age", I can only hope for this for my children (not stubbornness - THAT is a whole different parenting nightmare).... Confidence to not be laughed, mocked, or ridiculed out of their opinions. In fact, I hope this for everyone, no matter your age!

Radar for the Bad Parts of Life

I read Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist a few months back for my women's group, and I loved it! I actually love going back and rereading the pieces that I highlighted, underlined, and circled. Some chapters felt like they were written just for me. I love when I read books, chapters, excerpts like that, don't you? In the final chapter she says, 

"I have to create hope in my life, because there's something inside me that has radar for the bad parts of life".

Please tell me I am not that only one like this? I'm not, right? No, I can't be because Shauna Niequist feels the same!! I have to plug in the whole piece here, so you can get the full picture of why this quote speaks so much to me:  "I have to create hope in my life, because there's something inside me that has a radar for the bad parts of life. I walk into the kitchen and all I can see are the crumbs on the counter, and I look in the mirror and don't even see my face, I just see all the potential wrinkles forming. I have a dark, worst-case scenario sensor, and it takes over. It's all true. There are crumbs on the counter. I am definitely getting wrinkles. I just don't want to live in only that reality". WOW! I feel like she stole my thoughts and put them in her book.

"I just don't want to live in only that reality".

I catch myself always doing that...drawing my attention to the negative in any scenario. I see my daughter tilting in her chair at an angle so far that she is of course going to fall and split her head open, instead of noticing and appreciating the intense concentration and effort she is putting into her artwork. I notice the cream cheese all over my son's hands from his bagel and picture him wiping them everywhere in the house, instead of noticing and admiring the huge smile of pride he has because he is eating like a big boy. What is wrong with me? Yes, my daughter may fall, but it will not be that horrible - in fact, it may be a lesson to her. Yes, my son WILL get cream cheese everywhere (he is only 1), but it can be cleaned up. I do not want to live in the world where I only have radar for the bad parts. I want to focus more on the good, happy, cheerful, wonderful, and hopeful moments that we so often let slip by. No, I will never be able to NOT notice the bad parts, but I sure hope that I can change to where they are not what I notice first.

 

Find Peace

This morning, Pinterest inspires me.... Doesn't it always though? This time it is not inspiring me to remodel my home, organize the kids' playroom, or make a new dish. Today, it is inspiring me to find peace.

I just love this...and hate it simultaneously because it calls out my ego. I have a habit of trying to get so much done, so much accomplished, and never relaxing or finding peace until I am done. Soooo, basically... I am never at peace or relaxed. I think I need my task boxes checked off at the end of the every day (to of course be a super wife, a super mom, a super employee, a super homemaker, a super daughter/sister/friend) ... to find peace! Sounds pretty crazy to think that accomplishing so much is how I think I will find peace.

Instead.... I try to remind myself of this: "Find peace and everything will fall into place". Nothing has to be perfect, nothing at all. I have to remind myself that my life is in good hands and, really, I have no control. So I try to pray and find my peace. I say "try" because I am not great at remembering this. I am a control freak and worry wart working on my faults. However, taking time out to focus on blessings is great at getting me on track to finding peace. I start to focus on what matters, what I am grateful for. Then all of the silly things (like a clean house...psshh) stop mattering so much. Simple! Ha! No, it's not. But it is worth the effort that it takes.... Find peace....Everything else will fall into place. 

Why Worry About Tomorrow?

So it has always been a goal of mine to read through the entire bible. Every time I try to do it though, I fail. So I bought A Woman's Guide to Reading the Bible in a Year to help motivate me and push me along. It's working! Okay, I am only on Week 3... so we'll see how it goes. But for now I'll be proud. Anyhow, that leads me to the quote. This one is from the Bible (since I am actually reading it! Woohoo!):

 "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today" Matthew 6:34

Now, whether you are a believer of God or not, there is something to take from this.  Isn't it true? Why do we worry SO much about every little thing? What will I make for dinner tonight? How much money is left in the checking? Our car is not going to last much longer, what are we going to do? Are the kids going to get the flu that's going around? Am I neglecting my friendships? I'm not the only one am I? (Hmmm,.. is that another worry?!) But seriously, most of us do this. We worry, worry, worry. About little things and big thing, but often things we cannot control. Maybe our children will get the flu that's being passed around this season, but what is worrying about it now going to do? Nothing! We need to worry about it when it comes! Aggghhhh... it definitely is not easy, at least not to a worry wart like me, but we need to work on it. Worry about today, today. Focus on what matters right now.

Authenticity. Transparency. Intimacy.

I am currently in the middle of reading #struggles by Craig Groeschel, and there is so much to take from it so far. I really enjoyed (and highlighted a lot of!) the third chapter, Revealing Authenticity. The title of the chapter is pretty self explanatory, but his point is that we live in a world where we are continuously editing ourselves to create an image of how we want to be seen. He uses Facebook and Instagram posts as examples. He actually quotes Beth Moore in this chapter, which is the quote I wanted to note:

"Be Authentic with all. Transparent with most. And intimate with some."

I really like this. So simple, yet so thought-provoking. In the world of social media, some (or most of us!) of us have the tendency to edit our images and share posts that create the idea that our lives are peachy and perfect. But it isn’t just social media either. We have the tendency to only ever share good news - happy, happy, happy! However, we all know that life is in no way perfect, so why is it so difficult to let the imperfections be seen? Next, transparency. I think transparency is so important - in life, in business, in relationships, everywhere. Transparency creates trust and credibility. It is so important. It even has an impact in social media. If you need feel the need to share something, don't make it some ambiguous post - be honest, genuine, and transparent. Otherwise, why are you sharing? The last part – be intimate with some – that one is key right now with social media. So many people pour private details of their lives all over the internet. That information (or those pictures) should not be shared with the world. To me, this ties in to respect and sensitivity. We have lost respect or sensitivity for those “intimate” moments that should be kept between only a few.

As I said… a short statement, but it packs so much behind it: "Be Authentic with all. Transparent with most. And intimate with some". Let's reveal the real us to everyone, while remembering to keep private moments and information, private. 

Look for the Stars Daily!

As Martin Luther King Jr Day approaches, I thought this was a fitting quote to note...

Sometimes we need to experience hard times to appreciate the good times. It's unfortunate that we as humans operate this way, but it's true. We often lose sight of how blessed we are. This happens through personal experiences and through knowledge of other peoples' experiences. We might lose a job, and learn the importance of what matters in life is not what money can buy. You may know of someone who lost a child, and suddenly your child's whiny attitude doesn't bother you anymore. A local mass shooting takes place, and now we are so incredibly grateful for each moment we are given in life. The problem is... we so easily forget again. I hate that. I do it too and truly wish I didn't. Martin Luther King Jr got it right..."Only in the darkness can you see the stars". I hope to change that and remind myself daily of the blessings I have, little or big. They matter and I want to realize that without some tragedy forcing me to do so.

Connect with Others!

If you have never read Randy Pausch's book, The Last Lecture, you really should. There is just so much to take from that book. In fact, I am looking forward to reading it again. One quote from it...

"WHEN WE'RE CONNECTED TO OTHERS, WE BECOME BETTER PEOPLE"

 Think about that one for a second.

When you're around others do you feel like you're a better person than when you spend a lot of time alone? I sure don't. When we are connected to others, we are involved in other peoples' lives. Now I don't mean connected by Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter... I mean we actually, physically meet in person with people, and have real conversations with them. We care more about others when we connect with them. This can be family, a group of friends, a study or bible group, a team, a volunteer program... when we have real connections with others, it makes us become better people... why? Because we become less focused on ourselves. Instead, we take an interest in others and helping others. In my eyes, that makes us better people. Don't you?

New Year, New You?

This quote I found on, the ever-addicting site, Pinterest. I thought this was a fitting quote to share since we are in January and most people get in the "New Year, New Me" mentality. No matter what time of year it is though, this is something to live by. It is so easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to other people! How is she in such good shape? She is such a better mom than I am. Their house is way nicer than ours. Not fair that she gets to stay home with her kids. Not fair that she has a successful career. Why can't I cook like that?! Any of it sound familiar? We all do it. But we shouldn't! No matter what our goals are. While it is okay (and maybe a good idea) to have someone to look to as motivation and inspiration, we should only use our progress as a comparison. No, maybe I haven't achieved my perfectly toned body, but I am one step closer to it than I was yesterday. No, I am not a fancy 5-star chef, but my meals are getting better with each trial and error effort. Its a New Year, so it's a New Me... which means no more comparing!

I just finished reading Ghost Boy by Martin Pistorius. While this blog is not to review the book itself, I just want to say that reading this life story will make you appreciate the vast amount of physical abilities we have that come naturally to us and we too often take for granted. With that being said, I lead to the quote from this book that stuck with me...

"If someone does not expect or is not expected to achieve, then they never will" (p. 106)

Isn't that powerful?! Makes you think - or makes ME think anyway- about how expectations play into achieving and not achieving goals. If you (or someone you care about) does not expect you to finish school, would you? If you never expect to get a promotion, will you ever get it? There are so many possible scenarios that can be used here. Of course there are situations where it may be the opposite: Nobody expects you achieve a goal, so you push to get there to prove everyone wrong. This has definitely been my motivating factor at least once in life. However, more often then not, we achieve goals because we are expected to do so and do not want to create disappointment... and THAT is motivation. You have to know that people are counting on you and supporting you to get there, wherever that is. Powerful.